01st Hash Rap

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Man oh man, it's one thing to be playing a MMO. It's another thing entirely to actually be part of one. Again.

On the other hand, Davesprite has his everything from the waist down back to something more human. That is definitely an improvement. And he gets bonus wings, so now it's like he's some sort of weird angel with orange feathers.]

I had to have died. That's the only fuckin' possibility. I somehow died while playin' that shitty Ghostbusters game and went to steampunk heaven.

[He sighs and shrugs. There's not much he can do about it if that's the case. The best thing he can do is get some information. That there are even people around after a year of only seeing two godly humans is…pitiful, to say the least. He's happy to have a break from salamanders and nakodiles and other sprites and shit.

Wow Davesprite's getting really sidetracked over here. He's just…gonna go walk up to a person.]

Sup. Where do I sign up as God's personal secretary? Obviously, it's my new role in existence if I've got fuckin' angel wings outta my back like a kid who got spliced with goddamn bird genes as a baby.

Comments

[splinterself]

My place was pretty quiet before I started filling it with robots. Felt like the only thing I heard most of the time was the sound of my own voice. I figure it ain't nothing new.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Good point.

[Time for a subject change.]

So, what's up with this place?

[splinterself]

Apparently Sburb's not the only game around. Same basic deal: fight monsters, travel to different environments, level up, except there's a distinct lack of impending world destruction telling you to hurry your ass up.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Sounds like a good deal. Don't see any dead bodies strewn around, so I'm guessin' that as an added bonus there's no Jack Noir around.

[splinterself]

Oh god damn, he was in your session too. [It can be inferred that he meant something more profound than just 'existing' by that statement.]

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Yep, think everyone gets one. Yours happen to have god-like omniscient bullshit powers?

[He sure as hell hopes not. One Bec Noir's bad enough. They don't need TWO.]

[splinterself]

No, but...guess it doesn't matter here.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Probably a good thing in the long run. [Though, he's not sure he'd put it behind Noir to find a way here.] Take it we've got new classes since this is a different game?

[splinterself]

Yeah. [Pause: is dramatic.] Your counterpart - he's a Harvest Cleric.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Harvest Cleric has completely driven out any objections to the counterpart comment.]

Oh my God, seriously? How can you check?

[splinterself]

Ain't too hard. The skirt's a dead giveaway.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

For real? Guess I'll consider myself lucky, though I think I'd take the skirt if it meant havin' a lower body again.

[splinterself]

Seriously, plus he's wielding a damn staff like he's some kind of magical girl. [Let that sink in.] But- [And here he was going to say, "You're the most heroic figure in the history of mankind, sugoi~" but no.] Shit, bro, I'm not sure if I could've done it if I were in your position.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

I have to see this.

[Davesprite shrugs.]

I had four fuckin' months to think about it, but I didn't. Had to make shit right somehow. 'Sides, it's what a Knight of Time does. Fix shit so that it's on the path it's supposed to and all that. What's your title in the game?

[splinterself]

Prince of Heart. According to a friend it means I'm the destroyer of souls. It also means that if I ever went godtier...it's bad, bro. Magenta knickerbockers and everything.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

...Magenta knickerbockers. I'm not sure if I'd take that over the skirt. So, you'd basically be wreckin' people's shit hardcore.

[splinterself]

Yeah, exactly. And fortunately I'm not obligated by game law or whatever to wear that shit, even if it doesn't do anything for the wings.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

You'd be the first of us with wings without bein' prototyped with a fuckin' crow. Egbert and Harley didn't spontaneously grow 'em. Well, Harley's part dog because of her dog bein' prototyped, but that's about it.

[splinterself]

[...UU, dude, just...yeah, no.] Seriously? I can't wait for Jake to meet his grandma, then.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Grandma? My, what big ears she has. I take it he's the mysterious penpal she's been goin' on about?

[splinterself]

Yeah. He was actually building some kind of rabbit to send to her, actually.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

A rabbit? Like the stuffed rabbit from Con Air?

[splinterself]

[...dude.] Yeah. I actually gave that one to Jane- friend of mine, with some modifications. Borrowed it from my bro, he didn't seem to mind.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

I'm gonna guess Jane's Egbert's nanna. Shit, that thing gets around like a trans-dimensional hot potato.

[splinterself]

Really. What did it do in your guys' universe? [There's a faint, yet horrifying (for him), implication to be had.]