01st Hash Rap

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Man oh man, it's one thing to be playing a MMO. It's another thing entirely to actually be part of one. Again.

On the other hand, Davesprite has his everything from the waist down back to something more human. That is definitely an improvement. And he gets bonus wings, so now it's like he's some sort of weird angel with orange feathers.]

I had to have died. That's the only fuckin' possibility. I somehow died while playin' that shitty Ghostbusters game and went to steampunk heaven.

[He sighs and shrugs. There's not much he can do about it if that's the case. The best thing he can do is get some information. That there are even people around after a year of only seeing two godly humans is…pitiful, to say the least. He's happy to have a break from salamanders and nakodiles and other sprites and shit.

Wow Davesprite's getting really sidetracked over here. He's just…gonna go walk up to a person.]

Sup. Where do I sign up as God's personal secretary? Obviously, it's my new role in existence if I've got fuckin' angel wings outta my back like a kid who got spliced with goddamn bird genes as a baby.

Comments

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Harvest Cleric has completely driven out any objections to the counterpart comment.]

Oh my God, seriously? How can you check?

[splinterself]

Ain't too hard. The skirt's a dead giveaway.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

For real? Guess I'll consider myself lucky, though I think I'd take the skirt if it meant havin' a lower body again.

[splinterself]

Seriously, plus he's wielding a damn staff like he's some kind of magical girl. [Let that sink in.] But- [And here he was going to say, "You're the most heroic figure in the history of mankind, sugoi~" but no.] Shit, bro, I'm not sure if I could've done it if I were in your position.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

I have to see this.

[Davesprite shrugs.]

I had four fuckin' months to think about it, but I didn't. Had to make shit right somehow. 'Sides, it's what a Knight of Time does. Fix shit so that it's on the path it's supposed to and all that. What's your title in the game?

[splinterself]

Prince of Heart. According to a friend it means I'm the destroyer of souls. It also means that if I ever went godtier...it's bad, bro. Magenta knickerbockers and everything.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

...Magenta knickerbockers. I'm not sure if I'd take that over the skirt. So, you'd basically be wreckin' people's shit hardcore.

[splinterself]

Yeah, exactly. And fortunately I'm not obligated by game law or whatever to wear that shit, even if it doesn't do anything for the wings.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

You'd be the first of us with wings without bein' prototyped with a fuckin' crow. Egbert and Harley didn't spontaneously grow 'em. Well, Harley's part dog because of her dog bein' prototyped, but that's about it.

[splinterself]

[...UU, dude, just...yeah, no.] Seriously? I can't wait for Jake to meet his grandma, then.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Grandma? My, what big ears she has. I take it he's the mysterious penpal she's been goin' on about?

[splinterself]

Yeah. He was actually building some kind of rabbit to send to her, actually.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

A rabbit? Like the stuffed rabbit from Con Air?

[splinterself]

[...dude.] Yeah. I actually gave that one to Jane- friend of mine, with some modifications. Borrowed it from my bro, he didn't seem to mind.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

I'm gonna guess Jane's Egbert's nanna. Shit, that thing gets around like a trans-dimensional hot potato.

[splinterself]

Really. What did it do in your guys' universe? [There's a faint, yet horrifying (for him), implication to be had.]

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Dunno, actually. Got a sword off the thing that Alpha Dave needed, and I dunno what the hell happened to it after that. Pretty sure Dave would know or Lalonde.

[splinterself]

Maybe I'll ask them later. We haven't exactly talked about our sessions yet.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Bunch of bullshit happened. It's gonna take a while to get the gist of what happened for ours to get so fucked up that we needed to Scratch the motherfucker. I dunno much about what happened 'cause of reasons, but I can probably answer whatever I can just on account of havin' spritely knowledge.

[splinterself]

...so tell me about your other two players. Crocker and English's kids, I mean, and yeah I know all about the ectobiology thing. One's Jade and the other is...John, right?

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Well, that saves some weird ass explanation bullshit. But yeah, Jade Harley and John Egbert. Harley's our Space player and Egbert's the Breath player. He's also the one who killed himself by tryin' to face off his fuckin' denizen at a distinctly low level.

Egbert's kinda...naive, to put it nicely, and I'm sure you can gather that one on your own. He's blunt and truthful, which is good in some ways and holy shit bad in others. Can't really ask for a better best friend, though. When you see him, it's like lookin' at a huge fuckin' livin' ball of sunshine.

Harley's not as naive, but she's still got that whole schtick with bein' isolated on some godforsaken island in the middle of the Pacific ocean somewhere. She's got as much energy as Egbert, but I'd say she's more grounded. Harley doesn't deal with any fuckin' nonsense. A bit of her has changed with the whole dog shit goin' on, like chasin' catsprites all around the fuckin' golden ship.

[splinterself]

That sounds about right. [...he had some noticed some compare/contrasts going on with himself and the other three.] John's the one in Washington?

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Yep. Cold, rainy, Maple Valley, Washin'ton. I like to remind him that he lives in the state of sparklin' vampires and stupid broads.

[splinterself]

That's where Jane's from. Jake's from a shitty island in the middle of nowhere. I like to call it 'Murderdeath Island.' I'm from Houston, or what was Houston before the Batterwitch flooded the world.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

The fuck did it do to earn that cheerful title? ...Huh, looks like Striders stay in Texas and Lalondes in New York. I'm guessin' it didn't get any cooler when it got flooded?