01st Hash Rap

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Man oh man, it's one thing to be playing a MMO. It's another thing entirely to actually be part of one. Again.

On the other hand, Davesprite has his everything from the waist down back to something more human. That is definitely an improvement. And he gets bonus wings, so now it's like he's some sort of weird angel with orange feathers.]

I had to have died. That's the only fuckin' possibility. I somehow died while playin' that shitty Ghostbusters game and went to steampunk heaven.

[He sighs and shrugs. There's not much he can do about it if that's the case. The best thing he can do is get some information. That there are even people around after a year of only seeing two godly humans is…pitiful, to say the least. He's happy to have a break from salamanders and nakodiles and other sprites and shit.

Wow Davesprite's getting really sidetracked over here. He's just…gonna go walk up to a person.]

Sup. Where do I sign up as God's personal secretary? Obviously, it's my new role in existence if I've got fuckin' angel wings outta my back like a kid who got spliced with goddamn bird genes as a baby.

Comments

[splinterself]

That sounds about right. [...he had some noticed some compare/contrasts going on with himself and the other three.] John's the one in Washington?

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Yep. Cold, rainy, Maple Valley, Washin'ton. I like to remind him that he lives in the state of sparklin' vampires and stupid broads.

[splinterself]

That's where Jane's from. Jake's from a shitty island in the middle of nowhere. I like to call it 'Murderdeath Island.' I'm from Houston, or what was Houston before the Batterwitch flooded the world.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

The fuck did it do to earn that cheerful title? ...Huh, looks like Striders stay in Texas and Lalondes in New York. I'm guessin' it didn't get any cooler when it got flooded?

[splinterself]

Hell no. It's as hot as it has ever been, trust me. I'd offer to show you if I ever got the chance, bro, but I don't hate you. Even if...did your universe have the SBaHJ films?

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Oh my God, no, but that's a great idea. SBaHJ was a web comic I made. Only huge fuckin' corporation I can think of that might've mirrored that would've been the Smuppet Empire Bro made.

[splinterself]

Shit, I always wanted to try my hand at seeing how far I could get with my smuppets. [This? Is awesome.] Bro, I never met the guy, but he ended up becoming a regular god damned media mogul. I'm talking a shit ton of movies, mastering the art of irony, a weird obsession with Ben Stiller and Con Air, everything.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Huh. [Well shit.] Think I know where the last two came from. Mind tellin' me a bit more about the guy since I told you a bit about mine?

[splinterself]

Sure. Guy lived 400 years before me. He was a hero, dude - started that media empire, fought the Batterwitch, was the most god damned heroic figure in history if you'd ask me. I don't know as much about him as I would like, obviously, and most of the shit I pieced together through fragmented bits of historical records.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Hero, huh? What made him that?

[splinterself]

Defied the Batterwitch. Ended the Hilarocaust. Centuries thereafter, survivors would cite the rooftop showdown between him and the Batterwitch's minions as one of the most heroic moments in human history. I later learned that he died with Lalonde when they faced the sea troll herself.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Nobody can say we didn't have balls. Can't say I'm hero material, though, bro.

[splinterself]

Oh bullshit. That's coming from the guy who went back in time to set things right and became a sprite in the process?

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

That wasn't to be a hero. All I cared about was savin' my friends, and any guy worth his weight in brownie points would've done the same.

[splinterself]

So? Shit, I don't know why the guy did what he did but the way I figure it, it's not why you do what you do but what that counts. In his case, making a stand. In yours? Saving your friends and the entire damn timeline while you're at it.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Fucking....]

Think I'm gonna stand by my opinion that you're more of a hero than I am.

[splinterself]

Me? The hell did I do? I couldn't even- [Nrngh.]

How's this sound. I consider you a goddamn hero, you consider me a hero, we'll see who's right in the end.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Pretty sure I'm gonna be right. You've done a lot.

[splinterself]

We'll see, dude, we'll see who's right in the end. [This is the weirdest brotherly rivalry ever.]

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Hell yeah it is, but then...it's the Strider brothers.] Sounds like we're gonna have to find a rooftop suitable for a Strider Strife eventually.

[Pulling out the Relic in his pocket.]

What the fuck is this supposed to do?

[splinterself]

[And he's just going to pull out his own and ninja Davesprite's member address. Surprise! Explanations after the beep. (Beep!)]

Why this icon? Because I can and I don't have any other icons to fully express this situation.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[...Oh, hey, sup fellow Blade Brandier.]

'Kay, that works.

Looks legit. I'll match.

[splinterself]

[Sup.]

Yeah. Plus you use this to access the Chaos Gate, party with people...shit, this is how they manage the inventory around here.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Haven't used my Hash Rap Modus in a year or any kinda sylladex. You lose that privilege with the whole sprite bullshit. Inventory got a set space?

[splinterself]

Damn, is that what you used? Anyway, yeah, it probably does, but I haven't hit the limit yet.