It...seemed like a good idea at the time.

[splinterself]

[So after getting the "Where is this, who are you, what is going on?" out of his system, Dirk Strider was purposefully and boldly exploring Mac Anu and was...kind of bemused by the fact that the city wasn't done up in purple and black.

...just saying.

He had ended up at the harbor and there he paused in his wan- purposeful exploring, as...you know what's incredibly distracting? Actually only having one self (at least for the time being) that he was aware of. Also the clothes. Also the fact that he still had no idea what the hell was going on, and, more importantly, what was happening with Roxy.

There was a certain irony in him spacing out just as badly as he did when he had multiple selves to juggle, one which was lost on the guy as he was spacing out, brooding.]

...

[Yeah, this was getting him nowhere. (And shit, the lack of purple really was throwing him off.) That was when he shook his head slightly, turned to the nearest person, and said:]

Hey.

[So verbose.]

Comments

omg I love that icon.

[hoperaider]

[Jake is a live wire, yo. Cannot be tamed and all that shit. It's why he's fucking glowing in this icon.

Anyway, yeah, plz to not get careless, Dirk. It will not help matters of being a big damn hero with this guy. Okay, maybe more like a martyr who willingly risks everything for his friends' lives, but details.]

[splinterself]

[No promises are being made over here.

...oh, right, strifing continues. They're making progress, but it's almost nearing time for health drink #3.]

[hoperaider]

[Damn, man, hopefully he won't find that the taste of health drinks grows on him after the thousandth time taking it.]

[splinterself]

[God no. That shit's nasty.]

[hoperaider]

[Good, otherwise that'd be really awkward.

Pew pew motherfuckers!!!!!]

[splinterself]

[Seriously. That shit's so fucking nasty and he will never ever get used to them, no.

Okay, down goes #3. How's the giant looking?]

[hoperaider]

[Is it worse than cherry cough syrup?

He's looking like he's less than a third from death. Jake's looking around for a better vantage point, since sometimes the blasted thing either gets out of range or he can't fucking see it. Stupid hallway.]

[splinterself]

[...but he's safe there. It's kind of distracting seeing what appears to be green movement over yonder, enough that he took a bit of a hit that he could avoid, though it's not quite potion #4 territory.]

[hoperaider]

[Dirk, please. He cannot be effective if he doesn't move. 'Sides, it's not like it's seen him since there is currently a dude with a sword whaling on it! ...He hopes.]

[splinterself]

[Yeah, see, who's died once already?]

[hoperaider]

[That was a dream self and it was due to his peanut allergy!]

[splinterself]

[It's still a death. 1 to Derse's 0. But Jane also died and is STILL FOREVER DEAD so he ain't the only one.

Where are they on this? He's heading towards potion #4 territory but is taking his time with this last one.]

[hoperaider]

[Well, obviously they need a Prospitian Dirk, too.

It's at about an eighth of its health. Jake is holing up in a corner of the room, being all inconspicuous while he snipes the motherfucker.]

[splinterself]

[...that would be a pain to juggle but it would've helped with them...hm.

And he's playing it closer than he normally would, but...eventually down goes the last of his potions, and Dirk makes a face, both because it tastes nasty and he's aware that he's out of healing items. Still. He's going to really focus, now: even if Jake were to pick this moment to strip naked and cry out an anguished declaration of...affection...while doing pelvic thrusts Dirk probably wouldn't notice, he's just going to concentrate on that giant and doing as much damage as he can.

Is it worth dying for? Hell fucking no, but while he splinters he sure as hell won't break: he won't run unless he absolutely has to.]

[hoperaider]

[Luckily for both of them, the giant goes down before Jake has to do anything reckless in an attempt to keep his best bro alive. Probably not without at least half of Dirk's health gone, but that is not this narrator's call.

Once he's sure it's dead, he's going to make a dash to his friend, pulling out his last healing potion.]

Well, that was exciting.

[Jake holds the potion out for him. It's gonna be his no matter what since Jake doesn't need it.]

[splinterself]

[Sounds about right. And he takes the potion, and, making a face, drinks it.

Seriously, they haven't gotten any better.]

Yeah, I think my nipples got hard. Dude, tell me we leveled up from that. Tell me that thing dropped something.

[hoperaider]

[They're not supposed to get better.]

I'll check it out.

[He walks to where the giant fell, and looks around. He does spy two weapons on the ground, a Blade Guifei and Gun Steel.]

Looks like it dropped a sword and a bayonet!

[Which is good since it means it isn't an entire waste, right? Okay, yeah, they're level 1 weapons, but they're in a level 1 dungeon!]

[splinterself]

Yeah?

[And he walks over and picks up the...wait for it,

...

...

...

...the Gun Steel. He's going to hold it for a moment, raising it up as if he's going to shoot the distant wall, before shaking his head and putting it down again. Or does Jake want it? Dirk can hand it over to Jake. Point being that he was a little bit curious what holding a bayonet was like and just can't imagine having to actually fight with one. God damn.]

[hoperaider]

[Jake's going to take it and hand the blade over to Dirk. He tilts his head curiously.]

Something wrong with it?

[splinterself]

You're the gun guy, not me. [He takes the blade and reflexively starts comparing the two he has, trying to come up with a rhyme so he can stick it in his sylladex...except they don't have sylladexes they just have straight up inventories and it's utterly unnecessary.

Old habits.] Nah, I was just wondering what fighting with a bayonet would be like.

[hoperaider]

[He shrugs.]

It operates much like a shotgun, but these bayonets are more like...gunblades, I suppose? I do have the potential to use it like a short sword. Thing is that I'm not exactly the best at close-range since it's not really made for it. I think the blade is more as a distraction in case the gunman gets cornered.

[splinterself]

Yeah. [And one's inventorized under sword: it's not like he has a lot of items to juggle, anyway.]

Let's get out of here before more goblins - somehow - show up.

[hoperaider]

Alright. I know I saw a gate near the entrance to this level.

[He also puts the bayonet in his inventory. It's roughly the same as the one he's already got. Welp.

Jake starts heading to the exit.]

I could just IM this, but.

[splinterself]

[This was a very profitable venture, yeah. Look at all of this badass stuff they picked up.

...

So they're heading to the exit. What now, bro. Conversation, food, drink, hot sex, infiltrating other guilds and stealing their treasure, fade into the sunset with a - The End- attached? Just look at all of this free will you suddenly have. It's like you've got a character select screen with choices arrayed before you, with some of them grayed out because their panels aren't done yet but we're not sweating the small stuff.]

lmfao No this must be immortalized.

[hoperaider]

[Hot sex is improbable and would likely be embarrassing if they somehow got attacked by a respawned group of goblins or some players come along. Food and drink are unavailable, unfortunately! The guild thing is just plain rude and Jake refuses to be part of it. Fading into the sunset will happen a little later. For now, he's going with the conversation option!]

Did you want to hang out a bit once we got back to Mac Anu?