Soup's on, but who's cooking it?

[greatcleavage]

[After a productive day out in the fields earning money, Roy heads back down the streets of Mac Anu, his arms laden with sacks and piled high with -- groceries. Did he really expect to eat them all by himself? Of course not -- he had guild members to feed!]

[But the fighter Edge Punisher had a faint frown on his face as he made his way carefully to the @Home...]

I hope someone can figure out some way to cook all of this...

Comments

[greatcleavage]

Well, since immortality would be an uncomfortable hell if it didn't come with eternal youth, and even then is at best a crapshoot, I hope you're wrong. Not that I'm in a hurry to die or see anyone dead, but honestly death isn't so bad.

[tank_sniper]

...

[It's with some trepidation, but she does ask:]

You know what it's like?

[greatcleavage]

I know what it's like for Lawful Good characters, at least in my old campaign setting. I'd like to believe it's still true here.

[tank_sniper]

And what was that like?

[greatcleavage]

[Roy fall silent for a long moment.]

Happy.

Fulfilling.

And apparently full of some really good weapon trainers.

[tank_sniper]

...Good... weapon trainers?

[She can understand the first two, but...]

[greatcleavage]

When I was resurrected, I had a wicked idea for some new sword moves.

[Roy shrugs. He doesn't remember details.]

[tank_sniper]

So you can learn new fighting skills in the afterlife and just... come back? Just like that?

[greatcleavage]

It took a cleric, a Resurrection spell, stealing the diamond off the cast page, and over a hundred strips to make it happen, if I recall correctly. It's normally not that bad at all, though.

[tank_sniper]

[She tries to follow. She really does. But in the end the only response she can come up with is]

...What?

[greatcleavage]

That's what I said! It was all for cheap narrative drama!

[tank_sniper]

...You've lost me.

[greatcleavage]

It should have been perfectly routine. But no, events always somehow conspired to keep me from being raised. My body got turned into a bone golem, for gods' sake!

[tank_sniper]

...A bone golem?

[greatcleavage]

Well, okay, technically just my skeleton got turned into a bone golem. By that point, there was more decay than I'm really comfortable thinking about.

[Seriously, ew.]

[tank_sniper]

...Do I even want to know how that happened?

[greatcleavage]

My girlfriend misunderstood an ad and thought the businessman in question was providing resurrections. Though apparently the ad was very misleadingly worded.

[Disbelief? No, Roy has no problems imagining how all of this came about. And he's bitter about that fact more than anything.]

[tank_sniper]

...So was it a scam or something?

[greatcleavage]

Oh no, she told me the flyer said something like, "Watch your dead body problem get up and walk out of your life!"

...which meant 'because it would be a golem'.

[tank_sniper]

What kind of place even has enough customers with dead body problems?

[greatcleavage]

[Roy just nods.] Raises some questions, doesn't it? I guess he was paying for them...

[tank_sniper]

What was your girlfriend doing in a place like that, anyway?

[greatcleavage]

Haley -- she was the rogue of our party -- accidentally summoned her there. She'd given me a little trinket that could call her if I needed her... while forgetting humans can't just randomly produce electricity from their hands.

[tank_sniper]

...How exactly do you forget something like that?

[greatcleavage]

She's a sylph. From the Elemental Plane of Air and all. They can do that.

...Maybe "was" is this verb form I should be using here.

[At that thought, Roy looks down as profound sadness crosses his face for a moment.]