Ϟ first dose of bullshit.

[coolness]

[ So a quarter is stuck into the slot and the game is reset. That much is a given. But the game itself..

.. well, it took a turn for the strange. For one, it wasn't just him roaming through the lands filled with monsters. It's bustling with people; NPCs, Dave imagines. He'd walk around aimlessly for a good hour to catch his bearings, completely oblivious to the weird looks he gets along the way. It takes a while, but he finally realizes his clothes are.. different. Fuck the pajamas, the Game Masters said. You're going to wear something straight out of Sailor fucking Moon.

After a few good minutes of losing his shit with everyone bearing witness, he realizes that he can pull this off with the finesse only befitting of a Strider. ]

Now if only I figure out how to exchange this oversized wand.

[ This is when someone other than a NPC should look at him weird and decide to tell him he's stuck with the stave. ]

Comments

[splinterself]

[

Anyway, obliges.]

I'm pretty sure you're stuck with it, bro. [He looks familiar, but probably in the generic Hollywood fanboy of his superstar brother sort of way.

...

Yeah, gonna go with that for now.]

[coolness]

Okay, whatever. Already gotta deal with the duds, so I might as well go all the way.

[ Someone out there hates hi-- holy fuck why is this dude wearing Bro's shades. ]

That's not shitty MMO regulated sunglasses, is it? Sure as hell doesn't look like it. Why would you get my Bro's shades and I get this?

[splinterself]

What the hell are you talking about? They're my shades. And the only bro I have wears glasses from Ben Stiller, if you can believe that. Hell, if you know who he is. [Considering the people he's met so far.]

[coolness]

[ What.

It was beginning to come clear to him now that he isn't thinking about his clothes and more about where he was before. They were on their way to the newly-made universe, where his brother was supposedly at. Did that mean.. ]

I may be a little off-base with this. Like fucking space shuttle Challenger off-base here. But I think I was supposed to hop universes to come chill with my younger yet still older Bro. You know, until I got put here. Unless this is the Alpha-verse, which means you guys did a bang-up job renovating Earth. Seriously.

'Sup, Bro.

Okay, fine.

[splinterself]

Hey.

[Dirk's unsure. This guy looks like how his Bro might've when he was his age (sort of, he guessed), and he knew that they were far from the product of any natural reproduction. Furthermore, he and Rox were playing the game because of the possibility of bringing them back to life, an action which would naturally culminate in an awkward conversation like this one.

Still, it's hard to quite believe it when someone casually said, "Hey, sup, I'm your brother, someone made out of pure awesome and one of the most heroic figures in the history of humanity." Especially when this Dave was younger.

He's just going to roll with it for now.]

Nah, our Earth's more of a nightmare. Crockercorp eventually made their move, an action with culminated with clown juggalos and the Condesce taking everything over.

[hoperaider]

I don't think you can get a refund on it. Kind of missing my old 2xpistolkind, but I can stick with the steampunk themed bayonet. I take it you just arrived?

[Oh. This guy looks like a certain Hollywood star. Well, he was right with Rose, so...maybe he's right that this is Dirk's brother?

Although, if it's true, Jake might embarrass himself with a mini fan freak out.]

[coolness]

[ Lookalikes need to stop not-photo bombing Dave's moments. He's confused as to why John suddenly picked up a British accent and learned how to use guns, but decides that if he has to crossdress, then anything is possible. ]

Dude, don't pretend like you don't know it's me. Get the butter out of your mouth and start telling me what the hell happened to Sburb this time.

[hoperaider]

[Oh, yay, he gets to go through round 2 of British Me.]

I'm afraid that I actually don't know who you are, other than that you look like the Hollywood producer of the Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff movies.

[Wait.]

You play Sburb?

[coolness]

[ Well he's going through round 1 of fuck you Dave doesn't give a shit because he's a magical girl. ]

Stop fucking around, Egbert. You even brought up my pride and joy like it's not me you're talking to. Do I look like I'm in the mood to deal with your prankster shenanigans?

[ He's seriously about to get some bread and make a PB&J with all that butter in his mouth. ]

[hoperaider]

[Dave you are the male version of Homura Akemi. Deal with it.]

I'm not "Egbert." My name is Jake English, thank you very much.

[Jake tilts his head.]

Then...you really are Dave Strider? Dirk's brother?

[ladieswhodresslikemen]

[Can she tell Dave and Dirk apart? Probably.]

[Is she still going to tease the guy? Yes.]

I didn't think you swung that way, lad.

[coolness]

Assuming I know who the hell you are, yeah, I swing more than a seesaw. Took you until the flamboyant clothes riding up my ass to learn that much?

Damn, I thought we were friends.

[ladieswhodresslikemen]

Ah, simmer down, will ya? I dunno who you are but ya look just like Dirk.

[coolness]

I've been getting that a lot. The sexier lookalike is me, though, right? You better spit out a lie if you think otherwise. I don't know if I can handle the blow to my ego after everything I've been through lately.

[ladieswhodresslikemen]

You wear it well, all right. Much better than he would.

[adarable]

[ hello, fellow harvest cleric!! ada is going to happily smile at you!! ]

Ah, do you need help?

[coolness]

Nah, I'm actually here to be the living example of why you don't sign up for joining random ass games that put you in ridiculous situations like this.

[ Dave studies the girl and realizes he has a similar get-up on. Oh god, that makes everything so much worse. ]

I'd ask if you want to trade outfits but I don't think that'd do much for either of us.

[adarable]

... A...h...

[ ...what.... ]

... Eh? [ she's. definitely going to be able to keep up with dave. no not really. ]

[coolness]

[ We have a slow one, folks. And she's slower than Karkat. This is going to prove problematic. ]

Nothin'. Sup. Nice clothes.

[adarable]

[ She is .. definitely slower than Karkat. ]

Ah.. thank you! You look lovely, as well..!

[brightfuture]

[ YOU MEAN YOU DON'T LIKE DEM TIGHTS?? ]

Um... believe me, I've tried.

[ Yes. It takes another male HC to understand such pain. ]

[coolness]

[ Fuck, this was a dude? Dave was almost tempted to check out his ass. ]

Oh. So if I tried to take these off and go streaking through the city, it'd come back on?

[ 'Cause going from crossdressing to naked to crossdressing sounds like the best idea. ]

[brightfuture]

[ Try to act suspicious and you might get a shiny knife lodged in your back -- except all he's got is this lame staff, so that's obviously never happening. ]

Actually... no, I wouldn't be surprised if it did. [ snort. ] Even if they go ahead and arrest you, it's back to square one.

So, until somebody figures out a way out, we're pretty much stuck.

[coolness]

[ He's already had his fair share of knives screwing him up. Let's not go through round two of Shankfest. ]

Sounds like a risk I'd be willing to take, but I'll hold out on it. Kinda figured either way.

Been here for a while? You're dealing with the androgyny better than me.

[brightfuture]

[ Better not. Also, this earns a dubious glance from Hope, who speaks only after a brief moment of silence. ]

... Over a month, now. [ and he doesn't sound overly happy about it. ] Those ridiculous clothes are hardly the weirdest thing around here.