Tails: instant gratification ahoy.

[splinterself]

[Dirk had decided to be productive. Ish. (Productiveish? That ain't even something tha-...and that led to a chain of thought he decided to not climb down for the time being. His responder had better not be letting him down, though.)

In a way he had gotten the idea from Faris. If the pirate use could magic from crystals (he wasn't sure he wanted to know) and the game they were in had no problems, then there was no reason why he couldn't use puppetkind or fncysntakind. It wasn't like he had forgotten how to use either of them. No reason at all.

Well, except for not having any puppets or fancy Santas to weaponize.

He had obtained the materials through a long and arduous process which - frankly speaking - didn't really matter. It was pretty boring, as was him finding a quieter part of Mac Anu and starting work, so we'll skip to the interesting part: Dirk had gotten a little bit sidetracked and was putting the finishing touch on a plush which was disconcertedly well done considering what he had to work with. (It was pretty sad, seriously. It felt like he was trying to build a robot and only had a chisel and a rock to work with.) In his defense, the idea was fucking amusing and he was going to roll with it for now, and as he turned it over in his hands to make sure he didn't miss a spot he had to admit...it ain't his best work, but it ain't the worst he's done either.

Enter someone else. You? Why not. If he knows you, assume that if he sees you he'll give you a nod of recognition, a sort of silent broed sup. If he's related to you or you're somebody from back home, he'd give you a hey, a greeting with your name. There may be a slight amused smirk accompanying the above. Your call.]

Comments

[splinterself]

And you not falling and hitting your head. [Eat.]

[hoperaider]

That only happened once and there was a tremor at the time! [He's ironically very neat about eating his ice cream.]

[splinterself]

...seriously? Considering how often shit tried to eat you I'd have thought it was a more common occurrence. [He's not.]

[hoperaider]

[He blushes a little.]

Okay, I did manage to trip into a web, but that was because I didn't think they were coming in that close to home! And maybe I accidentally crashed into a clearing where two of the big cats happened to be mating. Oh, wait, I can't forget the one time I managed to wake up the dragon and almost fried me like a steak. Or the time--

[Dirk, stop him before he lists all the things that has almost killed him in the past year.]

[splinterself]

[No, go on, he's sort of listening with a poker face in bemused silence.]

[hoperaider]

--I accidentally stepped on the sea-goat's fur and, once again, woke it from a nap. Thankfully he couldn't get at me the further I got inland. Ah, and then I tripped on one of the huge bipedal crabs' eggs. I don't think any of you heard from me all day since it decided to chase me all around the island until sunset. Oh! And the stampede of centaurs was definitely not my fault since Brobot thought it would be a grand idea to toss me smack in the middle of them while a few of the cats were hunting!

[No, stop him before it gets even worse!]

[splinterself]

[Fine. After a lick, before Jake can continue.]

Jake.

[hoperaider]

Yes?

[splinterself]

You're not going back to Murderdeath Island. I know we talked about me crashing at your place if the Batterwitch blew up my shitty future apartment, but shit. If my place is gone we'll go crash in Washington instead. If Washington's gone, we'll go float in Sburb. Point being, you are not going back to that hellhole alone.

[hoperaider]

[A-aw, Jake's touched.]

If Jane doesn't mind it, sure, I wouldn't object!

[And he's pretty sure Dirk's being serious.]

I think I've been doing alright for the past 15 years, though.

[splinterself]

Well, I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. [By which he means he'll just get a boat and anchor it next to Murderdeath Island instead if Jake prefers to not have a roommate.




...what?]

[hoperaider]

Of course I want to be closer to my friends than however many miles away I am from Jane and being four centuries behind you and Roxy.

[He nibbles at the waffle cone.]

Honestly, I think I'll have more adventures just by sticking with you three than not!

[splinterself]

Yeah, but I wasn't sure if you wanted a roommate. [More eating happens here too.]

[hoperaider]

Well, yes, having a roomy would be a nice change for me. The only problem would be where to put you so that you're not sleeping on the floor or outside.

[Jake thinks about it.]

I don't have a problem sharing the bed, but I figure you might want your own room...?

[splinterself]

[. . .]

The bed's fine. [He continues eating.





...

...goddamn.] ...but I can take the couch. You do have a couch, right, English?

[hoperaider]

[Oblivious.

He thinks back.]

Nnnno. I think it got shredded.

[splinterself]

...alright, then. When we get back we'll share your bed, English, but... [Liiiick...of the ice cream.] ...only because you insisted.

[hoperaider]

[Really, it's amazing Jake hasn't been killed because of how oblivious he is.]

I don't see anything for me to object to, but I can't say what I do when I'm asleep. I think I sprawl and wake up in odd positions, such as one time I've found myself half on the bed, half off of it.

[splinterself]

So don't be surprised if I wake up and you're suddenly spooning me. Got it.

[hoperaider]

Or if I'm suddenly on the floor. To be honest, I can't say what happens if there's another person with me.

[He's...going to ignore the spooning bit because. Yeah. Yeaaaah.]

[splinterself]

Can't control yourself when there's another person in the same room as you. Got it.

[hoperaider]

Dirk!

[This comes out as a whine.]

That's rude! It's not like I'm going to spontaneously jump you the moment you enter my bedroom!

[splinterself]

You wouldn't? Ouch, man. Nice to know I'm apparently so unjumpable.

[hoperaider]

[Damn it, he just keeps digging that hole.]

I'm not saying that at all! You're an attractive young man, and it would be rather base of me to only think of that sort of sordid need!

[Face is covered in one hand.]

This is not at all coming out very eloquently, is it?

[splinterself]

Nah. Man, you're really bad at this.