One Cupcake

[stubbornskeptic]

[Jane tiptoes around the gate, eyeing it like it’s about to jump out and attack her. With all her ties to her various allies (and potential murderers) cut, she’s feeling a little off-kilter. Whether this is the thing that brought her here or the thing that will get her out, she doesn’t feel like jumping into it will have any bearing on her tight-assery. After all, it’d be just ludicrous to jump headfirst into it when she doesn't know what it does.

Unless her dad’s in there.

Oh shit, what if her dad’s in there?!

Jane grips her cheeks (the ones on her face, geez!), groaning a little. Whatever is she meant to do now?]

Comments

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[OH GOD jfdskalhjksdvfa Davesprite backs the fuck up to get out of that whirlwind of punches.]

Whoa, holy shit!

[stubbornskeptic]

[Blink.]

Wait, are you a person? Oh no! Oh no, oh my, I'm dreadfully sorry! I thought you were one of those dastardly in-game monsters!

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Do I look monstrous to you?

[Don't answer that, please.]

Whatever, it's fine. You didn't bust my skull open, so I guess that counts for somethin'. [Davesprite gives her a mildly curious look from behind his shades.] Guessin' you're a newbie in The World?

[stubbornskeptic]

Um. I suppose! I certainly didn't know the Sburb alpha was going to be like this. It's...not at all what I expected.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Man, if this were Sburb, you wouldn't be seein' me as some weird-ass angel that got into a fight with 50 trucks full of goddamn oranges and managed to dye his wings with their juices to citrusy creamsicle perfection. Instead, I would be that citrusy creamsicle perfection all over my fuckin' body, and I would have a goddamn ghost tail instead of legs. Nah, The World's somethin' different.

[stubbornskeptic]

Then...how did I get here? And...

[She pauses, finally giving the angel-boy a good look and sort of. Staring when she realizes who he reminds her of.]

...You wouldn't happen to be a Strider, would you?

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Dunno.

[He shrugs.]

Yep. Dave Strider, or Davesprite if there happens to be two Daves in one place. That happens a lot. I'm guessin' you're Jane Crocker, then? Heard about you from Dirk.

[stubbornskeptic]

[Jane grins and nods.]

Yes! It's such a pleasure to meet you! I can't say I'm a fan of your movies but I suppose I will appreciate the much more upon rewatching, now that I'm making an effort to believe everything Dirk said about them being a campaign against the Batterw-- I mean, Betty Crocker...

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

[Okay, that didn't get covered in Alpha 101 with Professor Dirk.]

Movies? ...Yeah, from what I've heard, she's a bit of a bitch. I'm guessin' you've got the misfortune of bein' related to her empire or some shit?

[stubbornskeptic]

Unfortunately, yes. I don't suppose she followed us here too?

[She squints at him, trying to determine his age.]

I guess you mustn't be old enough to have made those films yet, actually. My mistake. Spoilers!

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

I doubt it. Only possible thing that could've followed would be a psychotic murderer with god-like powers.

[Davesprite shrugs.]

Not like it matters anymore. Our earth's been gone for about a year, and we're blastin' off to your session. It's gonna take us about two more fuckin' years before we even get there.

[stubbornskeptic]

Is that how it's going to work? Gosh, I didn't realize how elaborate all of this was going to be. And here we are in an entirely new place where we have to make new plans anyway! I guess it's back to the ol' drawing board, as it were.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Pretty much. [Well...fuck he might as well offer.] Guess if you've got any questions about our session or whatever the fuck, I can try to answer. Wasn't around for a whole lot of that bull fuck, but hey. You get what you can.

[stubbornskeptic]

Oh, well, um. Did you know my Poppop? I-- I mean John. John Crocker.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Yeah, but he's called John Egbert. It'd be accurate to call him my best bro.

[stubbornskeptic]

Oh? I guess not everything is the same between our sessions, but it's a bit saddening to learn something as simple as his name is different. Still, I want to know everything about him! He must have been especially funny!

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

He likes to think so. He's a supposed Master Prankster, though I think his dad's got him beat, still. Shit, I don't think he can even really top his Nanna, basically our version of you. Kinda got a thing about magic or some shit, too. Blunt and honest, but a good friend. You'd like 'im, I think.

[stubbornskeptic]

[Jane covers her mouth, surprised.]

Really? I'm that good as an old lady? Hoo hoo, that's great! I can't wait to get old!

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Oh, yeah. Last I remember, she was off bakin' shit loads of birthday cakes for the dude.

[stubbornskeptic]

[Jane laughs.]

The better to smoosh in his face with, after all.

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

I'm sure that's exactly why she did it. Personally, I'd be happily content with a bottle of apple juice.

[stubbornskeptic]

Really? I'll remember that!

[She really will.]

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Anythin' else you wanna know?

[stubbornskeptic]

Hmmm. Do we need to do regular things like sleep and eat in here? Obviously, sleeping won't be as significant as it was in Sburb, but the question strikes me because I suddenly feel a little peckish!

[cawcawmthrfckrs]

Well, it's forever in the fuckin' late afternoon around here, kinda like how it's never mornin' or evenin' in the Medium. So, you sleep when you're tired and eat when you're hungry, 'cause I've seen food stalls around here, too. Gettin' money's easy enough; you just kick the shit outta the monsters in the dungeons.

[Well, seeing as she's basically John's ectomom and all....]

You wanna go somewhere if you're feelin' up for lunch?