[He's pretty much a large ham at this point. Think Pirates of the Caribbean with Jack Sparrow and Hector Barbossa rum laced pirate ham-to-rum laced pirate ham combat. This is, of course, tempered with the Strider sense of cool.]

Hell, maybe we ought to take it a step further. Say the word, Jake, and I'll not only make you the crown I will sew a thousand smuppets to act as your royal court. Through my subtle string pulling they will bob and move to your every whim and command. You want them to spell out Callipygian King? Say the word and it will happen. You want to rule over them in a pompous fashion? Have no fear, I will make that magic happen. Wherever you go there will be a soft plush ass, one that's firm yet yielding, waiting to catch you if you should fall.

[God. And Roxy says he doesn't know how to have fun.]