[God dammit, Jake. He needs to get a toddler harness.

Anyway, he's gnawing gently on the scenery as metaphorical pigs are turned into metaphorical delicious food products in the background. I hope you like ham.]

I mean, damn. If we're talking about things callipygian, you'd easily make it to my top five list. It's like you deserve a crown for that, and I'm sure other people would damned well agree with me that those two things are your most notable traits.